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heltia by Celsteial-Haven

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July 30, 2012
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"OH MAH GAWD ________ LOOK AT MY BUTT!" Alfred sung to you in an American flag thong, shaking his ass. You were in the lollypop and French fry forest next to the river of coke where the beaches are lined with gumdrops and you could see the Hamburger Mountains in the distance.


"That's nice," you said, "But what happened to your clothes?"


"________, don't you remember that they outlawed any clothing that isn't like this," he shook his hips and pointed to his thong.


"Then am I breaking the law?" you got closer to him. You looked him up and down and started laughing when you saw something you didn't need to see, "Nice Florida."


He shook his hips again, "You like that?"


But ever so sadly for you, this lovely scene faded as you started to wake up from your dream. As you were starting to wake up you could hear someone singing something. Not words just 'la la laa ahla la laa'. You sat up in your bed and rubbed your eyes, finding out that Alfred was the one singing.


He was wearing one of your bras and was doing a little hula dance in front of the mirror. You got off of the bed, "Oh hi Al, I had the weirdest drea-" you came too your senses, seeing what he was wearing and where he was, "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IN MY ROOM, AND IS THAT MY BRA!?!?!?!"


"Yep, this is your bra," he replied calmly, while making poses in the mirror.


"Well why are you wearing it???"


"Oh, I'm practicing."


"FOR WHAT!?!?"


"Oh you know, for when you and I, well, you know how it goes," he grabbed your wrist and pulled you in for a tight hug, "You. Me. The Bed."


You pushed him away, "You know, I think it's safe to say that your probably the weirdest person I know. But sorry I already did it with Matt."


"YOU WHAT?!?!" Awwww, he looks so cute when he's terrified, "I swear when I see him again he wont be able to do that ever again, he'll hopefully disappear if he knows what's good for him. Just wait until I-" he mumbled.


"Al, Al, I was just joking."


"Oh, right!" he forced a laugh.


"Well, don't you have a world meeting you have to go to?"


"Yeah! Thanks for reminding me!" he started to walk out of your room.


"Ummmmm Al," you pointed to the bra he was still wearing.


"Wow you're a lifesaver if one of the guys would of saw me wearing this," he said as he reached in the back to try to undo the clasp, "Uhhh, it's not coming undone."


"Maybe you bent one of them, either that or you just suck at taking bras off," you giggled.


"Sorry I haven't really practiced. Well could you help me?"


You thought about for a second. He did put that on, so he has what's coming to him, plus thinking about him at a World Conference with a bra on was just too much, "Nope."


"What!?! Then what am I supposed to do?"


"Go to the meeting wearing the bra."


"But-"


"You're the one that put it on," you cut him off.


"Fine, I guess I could try to cover it up with my jacket."


"That's the spirit!"


*LE SQUISHY TIME SKIP*



After stopping at McDonalds you two arrived at the world meeting. You couldn't even believe that he was actually still wearing the bra. You walked into the conference room, today's going to be fun.


Alfred walked over to his seat, trying to keep the attention off of him. But you weren't going to let him get off that easily. You walked over to Arthur, "Hey Artie!"


He looked up from what he was doing, "Oh, hello _______, how are you today?"


"I'm fine, but look at Alfred. He looks bigger than usual doesn't he? And why did he zip up his jacket? Doesn't he usually where the bomber jacket open?"


"Wow it does look like that wanker's gotten fatter. I swear he's going to kill himself with all that fat food he eats."


Everyone was soon told to take their seats, so you waved good bye to Arthur and sat next to Alfred, who was already sitting next to Kiku. As the meeting progressed it seemed to get hotter. Some people were saying the AC was broken, so people shed their jackets, or in some cases their shirts.


Alfred on the other hand was sweating his head off. He couldn't take the jacket off because that would reveal the bra to everyone.


"Alfred you look hot," you said with a smirk.


"Thanks, but I already knew that I was drop dead sexy."


Kiku looked at Alfred's sweaty face, "Alfred-kun, she is right. You're sweating, why not take the jacket off?"


You tried to hold back a laughter, receiving a death glare from Alfred. You almost felt sorry for him. . .almost, this was just way too funny.

"Yeah Al, just take the jacket off," you said with an innocent face.

If he could use the Force he would be using it right now, "Well ______ maybe I don't want to because it's. . . comfy and uhh soft. . . so why would I take it off?"

"But that's no reason to keep it on in this heat," Kiku said.

You tried to unzip it, "Just take it off."

He grabbed you're hands and tried to push you away, "No. I don't want to," but you pushed back trying to take the jacket off. This eventually evolved into a fight for the jacket until everyone in the room was staring at you and Alfred.

Well until Ludwig decided he had enough of this, "STOP! Now what is this about."

You looked at him with a sweet face, "Well it's just so hot in here that me and Kiku-,"

"Don't bring me into this!"

"You were a part of it! Anyways, we thought that Alfred would feel and be able to concentrate better if he took his jacket off."

"But I don't want to take my jacket off," Al said with his arms crossed.

Kumajiro hopped out of Matthew's arms and started walking towards you and Al, but no one noticed the Canadian trying to call the bear back.

"But-" you started and saw Kumajiro walk up to Alfred on the table and unzip his bomber jacket, revealing to everyone the bra.

Well you just about lost yourself and almost died of laughing. Kiku's face was red and just whispered 'oh' and turned away. Matt was laughing his head off, Arthur was probably cursing in a hundred different languages, and the other's faces were priceless.

Francis put a hand on Alfred's shoulder, "My, my, I didn't know you swung that way."

Al looked like he was about to explode, "I don't swing that way!" he yelled at Francis, "I swing THAT WAY!" he pointed to you, "A-and I don't care what any of you think that I'm wearing this stupid bra, which I don't understand how girls can take off, so just, I don't know, SOMEONE JUST HIT THE MUSIC!!!!" All of a sudden loud music started playing, and the lights dimmed.

"YEEEEEEAAAH!!!" yelled the drunk Gilbert as he ripped his shirt off and started dancing on the table. Soon other people followed and started dancing.

You walked up to Alfred, "That was sweet."

He smiled, "Yeah, but I can't believe that worked." You hugged him and took off the bra, "I think it would look better on you."
What is this? I don't even. . .
Reader, why do you have such strange dreams??

If you laughed at this that means I'm doing my job and don't need to be put in a straight jacket
If you didn't laugh then people will be giving me weird looks for the rest of my LIFE

Bra design and song up to your imagination :iconpervyprussiaplz:
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:iconhetalianloverkiku:
Hetalianloverkiku Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2014
I can't laugh because I have a sleeping grump next to me (a.k.a my sister) imagine all that pressure well any wasi really almost lmaf
Reply
:iconelfen-lied-lover-357:
Elfen-Lied-Lover-357 Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
When did Gil get drunk!? XD
Reply
:iconmelody-lyric:
Melody-lyric Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love Kumajiro
Reply
:iconthe-otakuhime:
The-OtakuHime Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014
What the actual Fuck..
Reply
:iconroxydanaschlyer1218:
RoxyDanaSchlyer1218 Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2014  Student Artist
XDXD ovely story its funny and full of fluffy especially when the BEAR kumajiro had to unzip his jacket herself/himself.
Reply
:iconotakurabbits:
OtakuRabbits Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014
Mein gott Gilby please stop drinking
Reply
:iconcrazyperson413:
crazyperson413 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014
1) Why is Gilbert drunk

2) OMIGOD IM DYING OF LAUGHTER HEEEEEELP
Reply
:iconjazzy-jazzy-woo-woo:
Jazzy-Jazzy-Woo-Woo Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
...
























Just... Just wow... I-I mean, WOW...
Reply
:iconseaskye:
Seaskye Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
XDDDD I'm crying- such funny, much laughter ;w;
Reply
:iconmidnaplayer:
MidnaPlayer Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconlmfao-plz:
Reply
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